I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
