Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
