dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
