The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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