i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just googled if crying burns calories
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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