she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just want nice things and good sex
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
