I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
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Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
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Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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