marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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