i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
