what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My dick has a subreddit
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Verdict: uncircumcised.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
