I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
