It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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