Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
this just has baby written all over it
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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