i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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