I'm lost and stupid without you.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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