No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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