I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
