I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
