i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
