Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
How does one acquire holy water?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
