I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
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Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
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Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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