My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
