I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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