you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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