wrigley field is MILF paradise
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
