the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
