Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I can't turn off my feet"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
