Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
