I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
