i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
