somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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