somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
