Are we in a gay sports bar?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
