Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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