Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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