Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
