Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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