If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
