Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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