taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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