She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
