he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
