I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
