Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
