you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
