How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
