I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
