I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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