Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
