Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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