So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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