u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
