I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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