4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
