Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
