That's intense
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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