I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
