We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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