Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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