Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
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He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
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Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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