So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just tell him i said nine months
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
