Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Randomize
