you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
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his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
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i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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