I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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