Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
