Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
